a year too late and five dollars short

"Now I'm wondering is it me or is it me that can't see silver linings? So I fucked it up. I watched you go.I saw my hand not dialing the phone."


If there was ever a quote from a song that described how I felt so perfectly...it would be that one.....and realizing that you met the perfect person..but it took going through so much bullshit to know this..and then realizing that its too late...fuck
It's very possible that I will never get this right...failed attempt on top of failed attempt to mush up together and we call it the "dating sand which"...the one that is always 1 dollar too much and 5 days past the sell by date....i hate this...i want so badly to be able to fit the pieces of this puzzle back together and make things right...to be able to go watch scary movies and hide my face so gently in his arm...to go on silly dinner dates where he buys me chocolate cake only to return from the bathroom and see that it's all gone. i LOVED those days with all that I am...and want to see them return...i am pouring my soul into this...