then i am just going to get probation community service and you can throw in a fine because it aint no worry to me....i am famous. the story of chris brow is disgusting and makes me want to vomit.

No.

No. No. No. No. No. No.
Well more like I don't really know, but the only thing that seems to make me happy these days are the weekends, they have been pretty epic, and I can't wait for the next one.

two years out

As of today, I have officially been out of high school for two whole years. Not a terribly long amount of time, but decent. And to say I haven't done much wouldn't be true....I have finally gotten my self a real full time job, found an amazing group of friends, and done a lot of growing up. It hasn't been an easy two years but it's come this way for a reason and in the end I am sure I will realize what that reason is. Here is to two more years coming and going. Memories, dreams, hopes, adventures....and crazy new catch phrases.

Tomorrow...my love is only a day away

My love isn't a day away in any sense, from that song...from actually being in love, just a catchy show tune that popped into my head.
In time since my last post saying that I was sick of things I have done massive amounts of thinking. It was good, and it was bad. And in the process I enjoyed some KILLER Chinese food (with my best friends)...anyways, I thought a lot of where I want to go in life, what I want to see, who I want to be there, and mainly who I want to become and in all of that I didn't see "the Ex" and then it hit me like a "ton of bricks" that I wasn't in love anymore, and that I hadn't been in a long time. It was more or less the fact of comfort of being used to something, or someone that had been around for so long. And again with the thinking came a new level of knowing that I am doing better now, in that aspect of my life that we so often call "the love life" I am doing good. And seeing things in a new light. I am happier now being single, more so then what I ever thought I would be. And having the group of friends that I do made this process a lot easier then what I thought that it ever could be.
I know there hasn't been a lot of time in between posts, but this has been a long time coming. And I am proud of the thinking I have done, and the realizations that have come. Time has passed and more time will pass and I hope for the best.

Fuck you and your yellow push pin....

I am over holding on to hope that things will work out....
I am so tired of loving the same person for damn year five years, knowing that things used to be great but wont ever be again.

Public Restrooms (Part Three....)

This will be the third instalment in a long series of what annoys me about public restrooms. This one is going to focus on the noises that no one enjoys to hear and on how hand washing is NOT just for the employees.

Hand washing (everyone's best friend....)
First annoyance with hand washing is the signs in the bathroom that just tell the employees to wash their hands, now I know that is VITAL to life, but the sign should also say something about everyone needing to wash their hands. I have noticed on several occasions in which people have left the restroom and not even so much as ran water over their hands. (at least doing that would subside some fear in my heart) It is one thing to walk into a restroom to check your makeup or fix your hair...but after exiting a stall ALWAYS wash your hands!!! I can't stress that enough! I am pretty sure that everyone's parents taught them how to , keep that lesson alive and well...wash your hands once, twice..maybe even three times to ensure your hands are clean before returning to contact with someone or something....not only at home, but at work, while out on a date, while out shopping. And I wont buy the excuse of "Oh, but soap drys out my hands" well my answer to that is BUY LOTION (stores all over the US carry lotion..many scents, price ranges, sizes and the bottles even in come fun shapes sometimes)

Noises (everyones least favorite friend)
One would assume that noises would be kept low, and consideration for others would be kept high, but in some cases well actually in most cases this simply is not true. Common respect and public decency doesn't end when you sit on the porcelain thrown. (or for men when you stand at one) A restroom is the perfect place to practice discretion, keeping bodily noises and grunting to a minimum....dare I say none at all (now that is a dream). It's really a respect factor with this one, as well as all "public restroom rules". A public restroom isn't exactly number one on my list of places that I want to be during the day (but when you are out and about it's bound to happen) so in keeping from talking to yourself or trying to "encourage" yourself will make everyone's time in the restroom a much more peaceful experience.

With these lessons well learned you will never be known as the smelly kid, the "ewww they don't wash their hands" kid, or "OMG they make calls while going to the bathroom" kid. And if for some sad reason you have been known by those names, or one that is similar to that...following these rules, and reading over this carefully will insure that you will be well liked and wont have any rude nicknames that will come back to haunt you.

Always show respect in public restrooms.
Always wash your hands (public restrooms and ones at home)
Never talk to your self (in public restrooms, and ones at home)
Never make phone calls while in ANY restroom!

Public Restrooms (Part Two....)

This is the second in a series of posts about my dislike of public restrooms, and the way people use them.....
This one is about conversation in a restroom. There is a time for it and time where you should just be silent.
Time To Be Silent
....Is when you enter the stall. All conversation should be shut off for a few moments cause it's just wrong when someone is mid-sentence and bodily functions occur...JUST SAY NO TO RESTROOM CONVERSATIONS while actually going to the bathroom...Okay people it's not that hard to do.
(exceptions to the rule: If an emergency comes about....)

Time To Talk
....Is when you are done "taking care of your business" and are standing in front of the sink washing your hands, that is the time when casual conversation is alright...shoot the breeze if you will. Nothing to serious, nothing to intense. A simple hello would even do the trick.

Once you have crossed the line of the door and are back out on to neutral territory regular conversations can/will resume. It's not that hard to do...infact I am quite sure you will be most pleased when following these rules.

AND I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

ALWAYS!!!! GIVE A COURTESY STALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.
P.S Always Wash Your Hands

Portland can't come soon enough....

Portland, Oregon....

May 10th-May 16th, 2009

I honestly can't wait to go on vacation with my best friend Cami (and her mom and dad)

It's going to be the best week!

And it's about time that I got OUT of Utah for a little while....

After being here for years and years and years and years without leaving things start to get to you...

Anyways I am excited because of the local scene in Portland, the music, the sights, the sounds, the look, the atmosphere...it's going to be new and refreshing.

That's all I have for now, and that's what I need the most.

Your girlfriend might as well been a zombie, she eats livers for breakfest

You are so damn sad that you are actually turning blue, and you just don't see it. And your liver will only grow back if you donate part of it...not if you just waste it away at a party. There is a point of being in love with someone, and then crossing the line into being COMPLETLY dependant on that person...and you have crossed the line leaving a long trail of friends behind you.

WAKE UP!

I KNOW that I wont ever be that dependant on someone..

Something a little less then happy.

With my last "dating experience" I am going to say I am less then happy with the way things went, the way things ended and anything in between. Be it my fault or his...it just didn't pan out the way he wanted to.
Anyone who knows who I am knows that I will do what I can to help you when it's possible. Staying up to all crazy hours to ensure safety. A shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a hand to hold...but there are just somethings that aren't possible. I am not in the best of finical situations so when asked to loan out a substantial amount of cash right now it's just not something that I can do. I apologize for that fact..but I am just being honest.
In my world I don't give up on someone or say "I am going to fucking hate you for life" because they can't help me out. Sure I am going to be a little frustrated, but it's not a reason to go and blow things out of perportion.
It hurts to be hated for something so stupid, for something childish.
I am not designed to give up on people...but clearly in life there are somethings that aren't worth fighting for when the other person isn't going to put an equal amount of effort of love into it.
Good luck with life, and whatever it is that you choose to do.
Just know that nothing will ever be the same, know that I don't care/wont care about you how I did....because it's not possible.

And needless to say this year isn't off to exactly what I had hoped for or as I wanted it t go, but generally that's life. Things come and go, people come and go....It's what you learn from these times and what you make of a shitty/good day. I know that no matter what happens I have the three best friends to fall back on, Cami, Jason and Derek...you guys are THE BEST! Love you guys! : )
Here is an internet toast to what is going to be a killer summer.
(I have plans to go skydiving hopefully...YAY)

Public Restrooms

It has come to my attention that the quality of public restrooms has dramatically gone down hill over time. And I am writing about this because...well only because I want to..and there is nothing to do with this Monday afternoon. Anyhow while driving around Salt Lake at 1am I noticed while at a stop that 7/11 has some of the WORST bathroom EVER! I suggest that if you can hold it...or pee in a bush...you probably should! Walmart is next on my list of places not to pee...the horrible stench the sinks that spray only cold water...it's over just YUCK! Moving on to Dennys...yes I eat there every week...but try my best not to use the bathrooms, once again the bush option is always there for you men...ladies drive to your nearest and cleanest bathroom. TGI Fridays has a decent set of bathrooms and most provide you with a nice little seat cover. Yes people, it is a public bathroom but that doesn't mean you gotta leave a mess behind...no one wants to walk into that. GEEZE!
Now along with my beef with public restrooms is also with people not giving a courtesy stall. Now I understand there are times, like after a concert or in a small bathroom that it's not always possible to leave an empty stall between you and the next time...and when you can't it's perfectly okay to just do what you have to and the leave. But when there is CLEARLY stalls available for you to leave an empty between you and the other person...then DO SO.
Okay, I am done for now.
Bye.

To my BFF...Captain Cami

My BFF...meaning best friend forever. Leave it up to me to think it was going to be impossible to find a girl (in today's crazy world...) that I would be able to trust with everything. When I least expected it I finally found that person! It was one crazy October day sitting in the Musician's Friend lobby waiting for the first day of work to start when this girl walked in with an underOATH tote bag (my first thought was envy...that tote bag is awesome.) Then we started talking and casually walked into a training class where there was one other girl....who knew this would be the start of a badass friendship. I will spair you most of the details about working at MF...but Cami and I walked into that training class together and started getting made fun of right from the start. We were named The Pinky Girls and told to look up Daisey Rock Guitars (you should probably go do that to...) Training class soon wrapped up with a few more jokes and a trip to the mall during our two hour lunch break. The more we worked together, the more I found out how much we had in common. This girl loves Elliott Smith just as much, if not more then I do! We started to hang out a lot and started what is now known as "The Denny's Crew". I quit MF and everyone thought I died or something, but NOT Cami....you know because she is awesome and all that good jazz. This is the part where I will tell you about some of our crazy adventures (in no particular order) One day we got the bright idea to drive to Sugar House to go get some coffee and to see our friend Dallin...it turned out to be the longest drive to Sugar House known to mankind...we were stuck in traffic for over an hour! We started to play with bubbles, and an air horn...we rolled down our windows and tried to make conversation with our fellow motorists...maybe not the best idea because they didn't seem too happy, but hell who would be in such traffic.

We finally made it, never did exit 126 look so damn good. We met up with Dallin and enjoyed some of the best coffee that this city has to offer. Who knew that this adventure would soon lead into the next one....(scary horror movie theme music playing...)

Next Adventure: If you live in Salt Lake City, or are into ghost stories you will know about this lady...she is known as Lilly E. Gray. The Salt Lake City cemetery is not only one of the biggest around, but maybe also one of the most creepy. There is this grave in there marked Lilly E. Gray Victim Of The Beast 666, I told Cami about the story and we got inspired to go find this gave. Cami being the awesome person that she is looked up directions on how to find this exact spot, it wasn't so easy...but a few wrong turns later we managed to find it! People always leave random things around her grave, and one day when we went back to see it again (trust me, we have gone MANY times...don't ask us why) and there was a Musician's Friend guitar pick just laying there, it was crazy creepy considering that we both used to work there and it was just really random for to be left sitting so perfectly in the corner of the headstone. We have gone back several times since that day to show our friends cause some people still don't believe that the grave actually exists.

Next Adventure: Gilgal Gardens

The first time we tried to go see this place, it was night time so we couldn't get into the place cause the city has turned it into an actual park...why...I really don't understand the reason. This place was built by this Mormon guy and it includes several things such as a man who is wearing pants made of brick, a sphinx with the face of Joseph Smith...it has crazy little caves and a big stack of books which we climbed on one day....not so creepy as it was just another random drive and a place we had to find.

Next Adventure: Hobbit Ville.

(sorry folks, this one doesn't come with a picture)

Hobbit Ville is this small section of houses in Sugar House that has been set aside for a community of little people. Rumor has it that the houses were modeled after a group of bird houses cause the man who created hobbit ville was obsessed with bird houses. If you are nice and respectful when you go in there, you wont have any problems with the little people, but if you are dumb and loud then prepair to have your ass kicked by a group of midgets. Cami was always stuck being the one to drive because I was way too scared to. We have seen little people driving cars, playing in trees and bushes and unloading groceries. Good Times.

Best Adventure Yet: One Year BFF Day!

Like I said before Cami and I met on October 1, 2007 so when October 1, 2008 rolled around we had no choice but to celebrate! It was an awesome day! It started off with us blowing out the candle on our cake! Woohoo our friendship is one year old! The inside of that cake was the most intense shade of blue, because blue is Cami's favorite color. Then of course we had to exchange gifts because what is a friendship celebration with unwrapping a gift or two. I got Cami her favorite River Phoenix movie "My Own Private Idaho"...never have I seen someone so excited before in my entire life...I had no clue how much she really loved that movie. It was such good moment finding that movie, then an amazing moment watching her open it (which was quite the task) The look on her face in that picture is priceless. I love it. She made me the most amazing picture frame and the picture inside was my FAVORITE picture of Elliott Smith. It was such a thoughtful gift of course I am going to keep it FOREVER! She is the best when it comes to having ideas! The picture frame is right next to my lamp, I see it every morning when I get up. It's a great memory for sure. After the gift giving we ended up going up to sugar house and getting coffee and having one of our many wonderful talks. Then after that we went to Denny's to have dinner and see our friend/waiter MOE! We always order the mini sandwich with frys and our choice of beverage, Cami always gets a coke. We sat there for hours talking about all sorts of random things, she has the best insight into a lot of things that I struggle to think about. I will always take with me the talks, and all that I have learned from them. BFF day was one of our better ideas, and I can't wait till the next one.

We have had a lot of other adventures, but these are the ones that I have chosen to highlight.

There has been quite the cast of characters that have come and gone in my life, but I know that Cami is one that is going to stick around for the long haul.

I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it is to find someone who understands me like she does, and how awesome it is to find someone that you have a lot in common with and that you can learn from. Cami knows better then anyone I have EVER met what it's like to grow up like I have. Someone who has the same taste in music as you do, gets along with my other friends, the guys have I have dated (even though she hasn't liked them). Cami has made a couple of trips to Provo with me to go to hardcore shows, even though she doesn't like the music. It's just amazing and I really can't say in words how much she means to me, or how amazing this girl really is.

Captain Cami, you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. You are a truly beautiful person inside, and out. You have always been there for me and have offered some of the best advice I have ever got. You really take the time to understand and listen to people and that just amazes me. Anyone who gets to meet you should consider themselves to be very lucky. You are one of a kind, and I love you tuns.

Here is to a life time of BFF days, of random adventures, of listening to Elliott Smith and to a life time of being best friends.

The End. (for now anyways..it's bed time..ha ha ha)

Now you are going to be a TUFF girl

Yes, you are damn right I am going to be tuff and stand up for myself, for my life and what I stand for....you asked for my opinion and if you weren't going to be a man and take it, then you shouldn't have ever asked for it the first place. I am not a bitch, I am just not going to sit there and let someone talk down to me and "put me in a corner" ....didn't you listen to Dirty Dancing "don't put baby in the corner..." Patrick was talking about me! (had to add a hint of comedy) Realize that you aren't the only person in the world that knows a thing or two.